My Dad

Today my niece's; actually Bob's niece's father in law is being taken off life Support. This has brought back all those memories of my Dad being in ICU on life support.

Dad was sick all that year. He had pneumonia several times during that year; and was given antibiotics. They would work but did not seem to clear everything out. Dad finally ended up at the hospital. Mom called me at 8:30 after she had left the hospital. She said Dad seemed fine but wanted her to stay and she just couldn't. Anyway at 12:30 I get a phone call and it is Mom the Dr. Called and he said to call the family. Dad has had a heart attack and is on life support. I have to say this is the first time I have ever heard my Mom upset. She was not crying or anything but she didn't want to drive to the hospital by herself. The Dr. Actually told her to wait for someone to take her as there was nothing she could do for Dad. I was in shock and my Body started shaking. Anyway get in the van and drive (not the speed limit) I pick up Mom and off to the hospital we go.

The Dr. was nice came out to the waiting room and told us what us happening. Dad was in a drug induced comma and was on a ventilator. Mom and I could not get over that Dad would ask to be put on it. The Dr. said lots of people change their mind when it comes down to it. After we asked Dad and he said he just wanted to be able to breath. He did not understand that he was being put on life support.

We go in and see Dad. He look so small in that bed. He had IV and all sorts of things hooked up to him. The nurses are like"you can touch him" sounds silly now, but I didn't want to hurt him.
Anyway Dad started choking or something and the nurse came in "what's his name" Dad I say, oh I mean Wilbert. She laughed and got him to calm down and breathing better. Dad remember this after; so don't let anyone tell you someone in a comma can't hear you they are full of it.

The next couple days are a blur. My Dad trying to communicate with us. His writing is really bad and he was so frustrated that we could not understand him. Basically he was trying to tell us to take care of Mom, that he loved us, and that he wanted to try this but if it didn't work he was OK to go.

Tuesday; Dad had been In ICU since Friday night, the Dr. called us all in, and talked to my Dad. Mr. Taugher, Wilbert you oxygen levels are not good every time we try and take you off the ventilator it stresses your heart out and he have to up it back on. You have two options, #1 you can stay on the ventilator, have a trek and be in the hospital, or you can be taken off you will go to sleep and that will be the end. Wow eh, Dad looks at us (he still couldn't talk) and wanted us to answer for him, I went up to Dad and held his hand and said "Dad you have to make this decision, we are fine with whatever you want" Dad motioned with his hand to stop the ventilator.

The nurse whispers to the Dr.. then they say we are gong to take the ventilator out rather then turn in off so Wilbert can communicate with you. He has struggled to do that the last couple of days so at least he can have a few words with you. GOD BLESS THAT NURSE. I believe that gave us the extra two years with him.

We all had to leave the room. Not a dry eye in the house let me tell you. When get called back in and Dad starts talking. It has been two years of hell and I am ready to go. I love you and again making sure we would look after Mom.

So there we all are looking at the monitors waiting for something to happen. The Dr. came back look stunned (He had come back to sign the Death Certificate) Dad then wanted us kids to go and Mom to stay. Mom refused, so David Stayed. David had a long night ahead of him. Dad must of drank about 8 cans of ginger ale. They switched to diet and he thought they put something in the can. They kept announcing over the PA that there was red truck in the parking lot that got hit by the snow plough or something. Every time Dad would ask David about it, thinking it was his truck. David had his talk with Dad and I am glad he stayed with him. I did not want Dad to die by himself.

The next day Mom and I went in and Dad says "This is hard on you guys waiting for me to die" the nurses figured it was just going to take a bit longer. Dad's heart was stronger than they thought. Morphine is not a nice drug to come off. Dad was not a good patience, that had to restrain him as he got out of the Jerry tray or chair (not sure what they called it) I guess it is very hard to do so. The nurse asked me if my Dad was a mechanic or something. I said no but a farmer. She said he watched how we closed it and figured it out. Smart Man

The last day he was in ICU Mom and I went to visit him and he did not know who we where. That was hard, but once he got some morphine he was my old Dad again. I think that was the hardest part. Him not knowing me. I could not image going through years of that.

Mom and I went to see him the next day on the 4th floor and he was mean and not nice and verbally abusive to Mom. Mom did not handle this well and we only stayed for about 5 minutes.. It was the drugs not Dad but Mom just couldn't handle it. The next day was when he hit her. She still is mad about that to this day. Dad wanted her to take him home and of course she could not. So he hit her. I was not there I had gone home.

This feels good to let it out. Hearing about Beau's Dad just brought back all those memories of my Dad in ICU. I don't think Beau is going to get the miracle we did. Those two years where great. Dad and I had many many serious conversations. About being a parent, about David being gay, about Mom. I thank God I got that time.

Love you Dad and I hope Beau's family can come together and be there for each other. It is a tough time and you need all the support you can. Bob and I went through a very rough time after this. He did not give me what I needed at all. Thank God we talked about it and worked through it and he was there for me when Dad did pass. I know I could not have made it on my own. I miss my Dad every day. I wish he could have meet Cameron and spend more time with my kids, but it was his time to go. I have to be a good girl so I can see him again. My dad always always always told me to be a good girl. Even though I was a Mother I was still his little Sister Sue.